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- E25 - How identity beats procrastination: [The Be-Do-Have Concept]
E25 - How identity beats procrastination: [The Be-Do-Have Concept]
Attention to your identity.
Stephan Schmidbauer
November 17, 2024
Hi everyone,
Time to step out of Lemmy’s shadow. My name is Stephan and this is my story of how I became The Attention Master.
If you find yourself scrolling instead of acting on your dreams, then episode 25 is for you. Let's dive in!
Here is what you are going to learn today:
How identity and habits are linked.
Why identity is your secret weapon against procrastination.
One actionable exercise to find and forge your identity.
What if most people wait for the right moment to start. And then it never comes.
So what is this "right moment" feeling we are waiting for?
The answer is: Safety.
Whenever we look at a desired future outcome, we weigh the pros and cons.
If we are confident that we can achieve it, this creates a sense of reward anticipation. This releases the energy we call motivation.
Unfortunately, the future is often highly unpredictable. That's why we start to doubt the desired future outcome.
This doubt creates anxiety.
Anxiety is
making up a fear about the future,
that’s causing you to have a feeling about the present
which robs you of the energy to do the very thing
that would stop that negative future thing from happening.
Not doing that thing, that's procrastination.
So procrastination isn't the problem, it's the symptom. And mindless scrolling is just one form of procrastination.
The real vicious cycle is this:
Lack of Confidence → Doubt → Anxiety → Procrastination → Screen Time → Social Media → Comparison → Lack of Confidence
1. How to get what you want
People who lack confidence and doubt a positive future will never achieve anything in life because they have the wrong mindset.
They are stuck in their heads because they live by the Have - Do - Be - Principle: “When I have this job, I do buy this car. Then I am cool.”
@morechrisgriffin One of the all time messages… BE DO HAVE. This is a snippet from @The Pocket w/ Chris Griffin 🙏🏼 #bedohave #mindsetshift
The same concept applies to time:
"If I could reduce my screen time, I would have more time. With more time, I do build my side hustle. If this is successful, I’ll be free (from the job that currently enslaves me)".
Drumrolls. Here comes the plot twist:
You can’t give your life more time.
So give your time more life.
Most people wait for a moment of safety, or a feeling of some certainty about the outcome. But certainty about the future is an illusion.
So instead of worrying about it, change your mindset and your identity:
The correct mindset = Be - Do - Have
Who do you want to be? Do what they do. And you will have what they have.
When people actually care, they also actually try.
Actions speak.
Don't wait, start acting. The rest will fall into place.
Sounds simple, but staying consistent is one of the hardest things in life.
That's where identity comes in. It's your cheat code to consistency.
2. What is identity, and does it change?
Identity is who you are and the broader self-concept you have of yourself.
How to discover your identity:
Take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and values. Ask yourself meaningful questions about who you are, what is important to you, and what brings you joy and fulfilment. Consider your strengths, passions and aspirations.
How to change your identity:
Our identity is shaped by the consistency of our actions and experiences over time.
Jordan Peterson explains that identity shifts through interactions with others. It evolves from an egocentric phase in children to a socially negotiated identity as they grow up.
He suggests that part of developing as an adult (or simply as a human being) is knowing oneself well enough to know when to be firm in one's beliefs and when to be open to reconsidering them based on new information or perspectives.
In addition, identity change often requires examining the traits and beliefs inherited from one's parents. Adults may unconsciously adopt or resist these traits.
3. Why identity matters in achieving your goals
Athletes don't need to be forced to exercise or eat well. They do it because they want to. They have created an environment where they feel like doing the things that are in their best interest. Conversely, their bodies and minds make them feel bad if they don't behave 'well'.
I am sure you are asking yourself now: "How can I do the same?"
The answer: By making an action part of your identity.
According to neuroscientist Dr Andrew Huberman, identity plays a crucial role in how habits are formed and maintained.
There is a distinction between immediate goal-based habits and identity-based habits.
The former focus on achieving specific, immediate outcomes, such as exercising regularly to achieve a diet goal.
The latter, however, involves integrating the behaviour into a broader self-concept where the habit becomes part of an individual's identity - such as becoming a 'fit person' or an athlete - which can increase motivation and persistence in maintaining such habits. You simply don’t stop when a numeric goal has been reached.
4. Exercise: A letter to your future self
A great exercise to bring it all together is to write a letter to your future self in 5-10 years time.
Step 1: Write down your current identity. The good and the bad parts of it.
What to think about:
Memories
Feelings
Actions
Strenght & Weaknesses
Traits, Beliefs, Mindset, Thoughts, Values
Step 2: Determine who you want to become = what is your future self:
Ask yourself:
What does your future self want to remember about this time period?
What does your future self not want to remember? If you are still the same person in 5 years, what will you regret?
How does your future self feel?
How does your future self act?
What do you eat?
How do you talk about money?
How do you operate?
…
Step 3: Compare the present with the future self. State the facts.:
What thoughts and actions are you having today that are in alignment with who you want to become? = strength to keep
Where do the gaps come from? = self-criticism, things to change
Step 4: Print or send it
Once you have written your letter, there are two nice things you can do with it:
Pin or frame it somewhere, so that you can read it every morning or at least once a week.
Have it delivered in 5 years. I found this cool service that makes it possible.
Step 5: Change consistently
What can you change today? Take small steps every day.
This knowledge comes at 0 cost
If you learned something,
be generous and share it with friends or family.
See ya next week
Lemmy
Recap:
Faith and doubt are both beliefs about the future.
Faith creates energy to move towards a desired outcome.
Doubt → Anxiety → Procrastination → Screen Time.
The Be - Do - Have mindset: Who do you want to be? Do what they do. And you will have what they have.
Identity = Memories & Experiences + Feelings + Actions + Strengths & Weaknesses + Traits, Beliefs, Mindset, Thoughts, Values
Identity changes through interactions with others
Interested in more of our work?
If you’ve made it this far, perhaps you’d be interested in our other FREE resources:
1. Most read all time: The Happiness Checklist
2. Our Procrastinator Quiz to identify your unique procrastination type. (We all have at least one)
3. Our Screen Time Program that will bring down your overall screen time by 25% and more.
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ONE MORE WAY WE CAN HELP YOU
We know that mastering your attention is extremely difficult. It's not going to happen in a day. That's why we've created Lemio, an app designed to be your personal buddy on the journey.
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