E21 - How to resist instant gratification: [The B=MAP model]

Hi everyone,

My name is Lemmy and this is my story of how I became The Attention Master.

If you find yourself giving in to phone temptations, then episode 21 is for you. Let's dive in!

Here is what you are going to learn today:

• How behaviour works

• How Instagram exploits your weaknesses

• Why it's so hard to resist the phone

• Actionable tips for building willpower

Have you ever wondered why Instagram is so addictive?

The reason is the way the founders designed the app.

The founders of Instagram and many other consumer apps took an elite behavioural science class at Stanford University. The professor of that class, B.J. Fogg, developed a system to describe how habits are formed.

Instagram used this system to create highly addictive features. You can use the same system to hack back.

Here's how:

1. Behaviour as a formula: B = MAP

Dr. BJ Fogg states: Behavior (B) is formed when motivation (M), ability (A), and a prompt (P) come together.

Let's apply this to Instagram.

The ability (A) to use a free and super well-designed app could not be greater. We always have our phones with us, so there is no time, money, physical or mental effort involved in opening Instagram.

And apart from showering, sauna and bungee jumping, Instagram doesn't interfere with any of our routines.

A prompt (P) is something that triggers us. The trigger to go on Instagram comes from inside us. We call these internal triggers, negative emotions that come up every day at different times throughout the day.

Because we are wired to avoid discomfort, we run away from these feelings. And Instagram welcomes us with a warm hand:

Loneliness -> Stories from friends and DMs
Stress -> watch some relaxing videos
Boredom -> entertaining Reels

The list goes on.

2. Managing the Prompt

There are ways to reduce the motivation (M) to bend towards your phone and more ways to make the ability (A) harder. I will cover these in the next episodes. But for today, let's just look at the prompt (P).

There are 3 ways to deal with prompts.

1. Remove them

2. Avoid them

3. (Learn to) Ignore them

But if you are using your phone as a coping mechanism, it is simply not possible to remove the internal triggers. You can't control them, they happen unconsciously.

Avoiding your phone is possible, but super difficult and impractical. It's a Swiss Army knife that we need all the time because it makes our lives easier (payments, communication, etc.). You can avoid it from time to time by physically dissociating yourself from it, putting it in another room when you're working or using an alarm clock when you're sleeping, but 90% of the day it's there or very close.

So the only practical and realistic way to deal with internal triggers is the last one: ignore them.

And when I say ignore, I really mean "not ignore".

Because what you do now: the trigger comes and you subconsciously ignore it by running to Instagram.

Where you want to be: The trigger comes, you stop and become aware of it, you think about it, you let it go (=ignore it) or you find a better way to deal with it than mindlessly scrolling through Instagram.

This is called self-control. Self-control is the ability to monitor internal conflict.

It starts with awareness, because when you lose awareness, you lose self-control.

It ends with willpower, because you need willpower to deprioritise short-term gain (the quick win) and make a conscious decision for long-term gain.

So: Self-control = Awareness + Willpower

Before we dive into actions, let’s develop a better understanding of willpower first.

3. What is willpower?

We have a specific hub in the brain responsible for willpower and persistence called the anterior mid cingulate cortex (aMCC). The bigger it is, the more likely we are to be disciplined and do hard things.

It's the ability to persist in a goal, idea or task in the face of obstacles or discouragement. It's about doing the thing we least want to do or not doing the thing we most want to do at a given moment.

4. How to avoid low willpower

Willpower tends to be low under several specific conditions:

After exertion:

If you've spent a lot of willpower on a task, you may have less willpower available for subsequent tasks. This concept was illustrated by an experiment in which people who resisted eating cookies (harder for most people) had less persistence in solving an unsolvable puzzle than those who resisted eating radishes (easier to resist).

Low glucose levels:

Maintaining steady glucose levels can support willpower. Studies have shown that when people consume a glucose drink between tasks requiring willpower, their ability to maintain willpower improves. Conversely, low glucose availability can quickly deplete willpower.

Reduced sleep and high stress:

Poor sleep and high stress can significantly reduce your willpower and persistence. Balanced autonomic function, which includes proper sleep and stress management, is critical to maintaining willpower over time.

5. Actionable tips: how to train willpower

1. Mental exercise:
   Do "no go" exercises by deliberately not doing something you want to do, such as reaching for your phone. This helps build the ability to resist reflexive actions and increases top-down control from the prefrontal cortex.

2. Behavioural techniques:
   Engaging with tempting objects in a non-consumptive way, such as talking to a marshmallow, can help delay gratification.

This mimics the strategies used by some children to succeed in the marshmallow test:

Practical tip on how to combine 1 & 2 to train your willpower to resist phone temptations in the future:

Put your phone in a lunch box or put a rubber band around it. Both act as a physical barrier. This will make you aware of the moment when you want to access your phone. Then talk to your phone:

"I'm not going to use you now because..."

"I'm only going to use you for ... and then put you away."

3. Embrace challenges:
   Engage in activities that require effort and perseverance, such as learning a new instrument or taking up weightlifting. Challenging tasks build mental resilience and make it easier to delay gratification because they condition you to work towards long-term rewards.

By implementing these strategies, you can gradually improve your self-control and ability to resist instant gratification.

This knowledge comes at 0 cost

If you learned something,
be generous and share it with friends or family.

See ya next week
Lemmy

Recap:

• Behavior = Motivation + Ability + Prompt.

• Prompt = Trigger.

• Prompt for unintented phone use = internal triggers = negative emotions.

• We are wired to get rid of discomfort at all cost.

• Ways to deal with prompts of bad habits: remove, avoid, ignore.

• Learning to ignore = Self-Control.

• Self-Control = Awareness + Willpower.

• Willpower = ability to persist or resist in the face of obstacles.

• Willpower is harder to bring up when tired, stressed, at low glucose and when needed at high frequency.

• Willpower can be trained: no-go exercises, direct confrontation with tempting objects or challenges that require effort and patience.

Sources:

1. Tiny Habits, B.J Fogg

2. Andrew Huberman Dexa AI

3. https://behaviormodel.org